Letting Go

Letting go is a part of life. You let go of family members and pets who pass on, you let go of things, a car, a job or your favorite shoes that are falling apart but that is what makes them sooo comfortable. People pass in and out of your life, friends, co-workers, neighbors. They are a part of your life then they move on and into someone else's life. But how do you let go of a child who is no longer a child, but a young man who will be graduating from high school in a few months?

I remember thinking when my son was born, now what? Talk about being out of your comfort zone, I was clueless.  Here was this little baby completely dependent on me and I had to raise him. Good Lord what have I gotten myself into. Ready or not I had to do it.

Now here I am 18yrs. later, what happened to that little boy who cut off a patch of hair on the top of his head  the day before he had his 3rd grade picture taken. I can close my eyes and remember all the school programs, baseball and basketball practices, cub scouts, trips to the zoo and amusement park like it was yesterday. How he would crawl into bed with me, take my hand, hold it to his chest and roll over and go to sleep. It was him and me against the world.

It begins when they start driving and get their own car. Then they turn 18. You lose them to another world, their world. It is hard giving up control. You spend all those years knowing their every move, telling them when to come home and eat, when to go to bed, making sure homework is done. And now I have to learn how to turn loose, to have faith that I have done my job and he will make the right decisions and heed all the warnings I have given him through the years of what can happen to you out there in the world. It's scary, for me anyway, he has all the confidence of a teenage boy. I like the freedom that letting go of being in control of his life gives me.......but.......can I just hold on a ...little longer.......it all went by so fast.

(In the interest of full disclosure......I wrote this while being hopped up on alka seltzer plus because I have a bad cold, so if this was too sentimental..........too bad)

Kathy