Goodbye Ol' Friend

People move in and out of your life, you move in and out of others lives. I have friends that I haven't seen in a long time, friends that I have reconnected with recently and friends that I have known for a long time but our lives have moved in different directions but I am lucky enough to see them on occassion and catch up.

One such friend I have known for more than half my life, along with his wife, his brother and sisters and all their kids. We used to have the best times, poker parties, superbowl and New Year's Eve parties. We all played volleyball together every Sunday for years. We would all get together and go to the track, baseball games, play horseshoes.....in other words, we had some really good times.  But as it so often does, time passes, divorces, remarriages, new jobs, life sometimes gets in the way. I had kind of lost touch, I was in a long term relationship, we had a child, they were all busy with their lives, but I have to say they were some of the most special friends I have ever had (and have).

My friend is dying. He has an incurable genetic disease that progressively get worse and has been sick for about 10yrs now. He is being helped along by hospice now and he has been in a nursing facility for a year or so because his wife wasn't able to care for him by herself. He is in the prime of his life, he shouldn't be dying, he is funny and liked have a good time, he would be the first to offer a helping hand if you needed it, his family is very important to him. He shouldn't be dying. He likes to dip you when he dances, he likes to play charades. He shouldn't be dying.......but he is.

What I don't understand is that he has some old friends that he hasn't seen since he has been sick, they say they want to remember him as he was, not like he is now. They are UNCOMFORTABLE, they don't know what to say. I don't understand that, I have visited with him and his wife off and on over the last several years and you accept the situation and just be there for your friend. I think it is sad, not only for my friend but also for the people who are too uncomfortable even though they have known him for a long time. It's not about you, it's about him. Why are you uncomfortable, you're not the one dying. It will be your loss and I feel sorry for you.

My friend is dying, probably in a matter of a few weeks and I will miss him and I am greatful that I could call him my friend.

Kathy