Motherhood has to be one of the hardest jobs in the world. I know parenting in general, whether it is by a mother or father is hard, but mothers generally have to juggle many more things than just being a parent. Mothers tend to not only be a parent but also may be holding down an outside job. And of course just the parenting part of motherhood tends to entail lots of other "jobs", chef, chauffer, community organizer, nurse, doctor, counselor, jailor, teacher and lots of other "jobs" that may pop up on a daily basis.
My perspective on motherhood comes from the experience of single motherhood. So not only do you have to do a mother's job, but also take on some of the father's duties. It is hard being both mother and father, especially to a son. I hope I have done a good job. I always made sure my son played sports and I was right there going to practices, games, banquets. I went with him to scout meetings, camping, and when he developed an interest in skateboarding, I bought the skateboards and equipment and took him every weekend to the skatepark and sat in the shade so he could skate for a couple of hours. I have taught him how to tie a tie, drive a car and talked to him about drinking, smoking, doing drugs, and the facts of life.
I don't want this to sound like I am bragging, I'm not, for every single parent out there has to do the same thing, it is just a fact. One of my favorite quotes is from Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis and to paraphrase, she said that "if you mess up raising your children, not much else matters", and I think that is so true.
I never wanted to be a single parent. Growing up all I really ever wanted was to marry, have 4 or 5 kids, and be a stay at home mom, white picket fence and all. Well, I guess it was never meant to be. I thought my son's father and I would stay together and we did for the first 7 or 8yrs. of my son's life. But he had too many of his own problems to deal with and it just was better for me not to expose my child to it anymore. Depending on the circumstances, it is not always better to stay together for the child's sake, there are times that it can do more harm than good and this was such a case. My son was relieved that the chaos was over. His father and I are still friends, but my son has a reserved relationship with him, which is a shame, but his father is still fighting his own demons.
This might me a bit controversial, but I always go with the motto: Trust But Verify. I talked last week about "tweeting". At the time I didn't know my son was on twitter, but I looked him up and he was there, so I read some of his tweets and the mind of an 18yr. old is a confusing thing. Of course he doesn't know I am checking up on him and if I were to find something on there that concerned me, I would just wait a few days and casually bring up something in conversation and feel him out and give some advice without him ever knowing that I saw his tweet. I think I would make a good spy!
But when I checked this morning he had tweeted how being a single parent is a hard job and that he wouldn't be where he was today without his mom and someday he wants to be able to give me everything I ever wanted. Needless to say I cried, it couldn't have been more perfect, of course, I have to keep that to myself. I love my son more than words can say and, whether by luck or environment, he has grown into a fine young man.
And to my Mom, Happy Mothers Day, you are the best and I love you very much.
RECIPE OF THE DAY
Actually it's not a "recipe" but a way of cooking greens. I don't like the mushy, boiled greens that some people insist on cooking for hours. I like to cook spinach, swiss chard and even kale in a little olive oil on top of the stove in a skillet. I just heat up the skillet, add some olive oil and add whichever greens you are cooking. Also add a little salt, pepper, garlic and pepper flakes if you are so inclined. Stir to incorporate all the ingredients and cook til wilted. That's all, takes about 10 minutes or so. They taste better and hold on to more of their vitamins when there are not cooked to death.
Happy Mother's Day to all
Kathy
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