The First Annual.......

On the first day of autumn, a sunny day with a bright blue sky, we celebrated the life of a good friend. I wrote some months ago about my friend who was dying. He as been gone now for 6 months and has left a big whole in the lives of his wife, family and friends. After his passing, his sisters wanted to gather all his family and friends together to do something that he would have enjoyed. Volleyball!!

For years and years we all got together every Sunday and played volleyball, drink a few beers, sometimes bring some food and play ball. As soon as the weather started warming up in the Spring he would start calling people to say "We're going to the park for some volleyball". We would hardly ever miss a Sunday and we would continue into the fall until it just got too cold. We even played in pouring rain. Sometimes if it was raining we would put up a dollar apiece and whoever got the muddiest, and it had to be from falls going after the ball, would win the pot. We once had a long debate on the difference between raining, drizzling, sprinkling or just misting. We were quite the scholars.....really.

Things could get kind of competitive at times, tempers flared on occassion, people got injured, but at the end of the day, any disagreements were forgotten about, injuries soothed and we all would often sit around and shoot the breeze til dark. We played in the same spot for so many years that the grass was killed off there for a long time. There was always a core group that was there every Sunday and then there were those who would come every now and then, other friends would drop in, and as far as my friend was concerned, everyone was welcomed.

So in honor of him, his family decided to have a cookout and volleyball games at the same park, in the same spot as we did many years ago. These people are some of my oldest and dearest friends and I felt honored to be included in this event. They cooked out burgers and hot dogs, everyone brought a dish, one sister brought fried chicken. They had pasta salads, beans, macaroni and cheese, soft drinks, beer, and much, much more. It was all very, very good.

It was so nice to see everybody, and to see how everyone's children have grown into adults, I had to ask who some of them were because I hadn't seen them since they were little, plus all the new additions, it was quite a crew. The little kids played badminton while the adults played volleyball. It really was a perfect day.

And at the end of the day, his family spread some of his ashes just down the hill from the volleyball court.I think he would have liked that. It was quite moving. Everyone stood quietly, watching, lost in their own thoughts and memories. My eyes welled up with tears watching and I am sure I was not the only one.I was standing next to his son who naturally was very emotional.  After a few moments of quiet reflection, one of his sisters asked if anyone wanted to say anything, but I think everyone was lost in their own thoughts. But his nephew came up with the perfect ending for the ceremony.  He said "If Duke were here, he'd say 'c'mon, dammit, we got time for one more game before it gets dark".  And that is exactly what he would have said. We all smiled and went back to the party. Now that was the perfect ending.

His family has talked about making this an annual event. I certainly hope so. It brings back old memories and creates new ones.

Kathy