In A "Funk"

I have been in such a funk lately, restless, distracted, stressed, not being able to accomplish a task. You might say that maybe I'm depressed but that's not it. I'm not upset or angry. Actually, I think I just feel overwhelmed and I need a change. And sometimes I just need to wallow in my funk for a while, then I'll feel fine.

I think not having a car has started getting to me. Not to be able to just get up and go out on the spur of the moment, to run errands on the weekend, run to pick up something quick for supper when I don't feel like cooking, meeting friends has started getting old.

I'm tired. With my son working at nights, I can't seem to go to sleep until he leaves for work. I'm afraid he will fall asleep and be late for work, he goes to school during the day and is tired, so I can't relax enough to drift off until I hear him leave. Then 4 1/2 hrs. later it is time for me to get up for work. So on the weekends when I should be working on projects around the house that need to be done, I just don't feel like doing it. I just want to relax. So the projects are stacking up and the more I put them off, the more stress I feel about  not getting them done. It's a vicious cycle.

I've had the opportunity to go out with friends several times this month and it has been so much fun. I want my weekends to be filled with that kind of fun plus relaxation at home, not always having something that needs to be done. I guess after 25yrs. of housework, laundry and cooking, the thrill is gone! But I want a clean house and I do love to cook, but I don't like to come home from work and cook everyday like I have for years. To be fair, my son mostly does his own laundry now and if I don't always have cook, he can fix himself some basic things or eat out. That does help. I'm just over it, but it needs to be one.

I have even been too exhausted to blog for the last several weeks. When I sit down in the evening to watch some TV and get online, it's not long before my eyes get heavy and I start nodding off. I haven't even had time to work on some of my other writing. And the more I get behind on things, the more stress I feel. So then I just end up doing nothing, like today. I piddled around most of the day, which is what I really wanted to do, but then my to do list keeps getting longer.

I am not a multi-tasker, I like to do one task at a time then move on to the next. That's why, as my list gets longer, I feel more pressure to get things done. And as a single mother/woman, it all falls on me, there is no one to hand off to, no one to share the load, no one to help with the decisions.

These problems I have talked about are not really "problems" in a world of wars, terrorism, natural disasters, social problems and good lord, upcoming elections, but they are what is causing my funk.
It's not the first time I've felt overwhelmed and I'm sure it won't be the last. I will wallow in my funk for a while longer, revel in my misery and then I will pick myself up and pull myself together and life will be good again. Sometimes it just takes awhile. More fun would be helpful too......I'm just sayin'.



Kathy