Making The Effort

Whether it is skating through your life on auto pilot, or just being stuck in a routine, if you want to change things in your life you have to make an effort. Maybe not flashy changes or changes that move the earth, but small, steady changes can sometimes go a long way and hopefully start a trend towards other changes.

I have always admitted that I am a routine oriented person, change doesn't always come easy for me and can make me uncomfortable. But after raising my son as a single parent, and as he starts college next fall, I want my life to change, expand, grow. I will always be a parent, but my life is becoming my own again and I need to figure out what to do with it.

I'm not talking about major life changes, I am who I am.  Since my son is on the go with friends or at work most of the time, I no longer have to fix dinner every night, but that is even a hard habit for me to break. I only have my own laundry to do nowadays so I do have lots more time for myself, but what to do with it. I do know that I despartely need more fun in my life!! I have friends that I go out with every once in a while, but I really need to make the effort to go out more. I'm not talking about wild night life, but I like to go and listen to some live, local music with one of my good friends, I want to go to a wine tasting at a local shop that is a combination of imported beer and wine store/second hand store/art gallery. I see their posts for wine tasting/art exhibits quite often and want to go, but I never make an effort to call a friend and go. But the next time they have one I am going to make that effort.

I have all kinds of cute clothes, shoes (I love shoes), jewelry, but I tend to wear the same few outfits all the time, put on the same earrings everyday because they are sitting out, and put the same 2 or 3 pairs of shoes on because they are the first ones I see. But you know, when I do make the effort to put some thought into what I put on in the morning, go through my jewelry box and find something different and get those cute summer sandals out, it does make a difference in how I feel and how I carry myself and people notice. I'm just in a rut and I need to make the effort to get out of it.

I need to make the effort to be more outgoing. With my friends and family or people I am acquanted with, I have no problem carrying on a conversation, joking around, giving my opinion. But with people I don't know, I tend to be very quiet. I know that some people may think that I am being standoffish, but it is just that it takes me awhile to get over my shyness with new people.

I have been alone for the last 10 years, which is fine, I put all my effort into raising my son and being there for him. But now I would like to meet someone special, not because I need someone, but because I want someone to share my life with. If I don't, I'm fine with that, but I hope I do.  No, I will not do internet matchmaking, I don't want to meet someone in a nightclub. I want to meet someone the old fashioned way, through friends or family, bump into him at a grocery store or coffee shop, see him across the room at a wine tasting or out walking my dog.  But, there again, I have to make the effort to put myself out there, meet new people, not be shy when talking to new people and open myself up to new adventures. This change will be the hardest one of all.

Wish me luck.


Kathy